Police officers have a hard go of it – they risk their lives daily and often are forced to make hard decisions in critical moments. One thing that will make being a police officer easier is having a good sense of humor that helps them to pass through stressful situations.
We often take for granted their service in our local communities, even though they are a vital source of each and every one of our unique communities. Take a moment (and a few bucks) this year and stop to give thanks to your local authorities.
We’ve found some fresh goofy and witty gift ideas for those police officers who aren’t afraid to enjoy a good laugh about their profession.
Below are some awesomely funny gifts for really great cops in your life who have a good (and a little weird) sense of humor
1. Fred Pen Holder
Let’s start things off with a morbid pen holder! His name is Dead Fred and he looks a lot like the chalk outline from a crime scene…you know the one, in the shape of a body. When he’s laying down you can be sadistic and poke him with your pen – and by the magic of silicone, it will stay put. The effect looks like you killed him dead. This gift is for ironic police officers ONLY.
2. Cartman Respect My Authority T-Shirt
Got any cops who are South Park fans out there in your community? They’re going to love this shirt, which shows the character Cartman with his cute cop catchphrase “Respect my authority!” It comes in a really nice, heathered blue color in a large variety of sizes.
3. Book: “Cop Jokes”
The best medicine is laughter, they say. Next time you get pulled over, be prepared to crack some jokes. Who knows, maybe they’ll laugh so hard, they’ll forget to give you a ticket. This book has a ton of funny cop jokes, from the standard knock-knock to the classic dirty limerick. There’s something in here for everyone, and why not brighten your favorite police officer’s day?
4. Evidence Bag
A funny, multi-use plastic carry bag made from recycled materials. It looks like an official evidence bag (or what I imagine an official evidence bag looks like) and has a nice zippered top. This would make a nice gift because everyone needs an extra bag, and you could literally do anything with it – lunchbox, pen holder, cell phone/tablet case…I could go on. Feel extra good with the purchase of this 100% recycled material product.
5. Police Officer Apron
Hahaha. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself – just see the image and you’ll get it. This goofy apron will instantly transform any home cook or griller into a beefcake cop! No one will interrupt the lucky chef who’s donning this apron. I love a man in uniform, and I love a man who can cook…so basically this gift is my future husband. Or just another really funny police officer gift on this list.
6. Shot Glasses
Cop or no cop, everyone needs a good shot of whiskey, now and again. These shot glasses are shaped like bullet casings, lined with a very shiny bronze metal-like material which really catches your eye. Each glass holds your standard 2 ounce shot of whatever you’re having. This would make a great gift for anyone out there who has an aunt or uncle in the NRA.
7. Movie: “Bad Lieutenant”
A classic film by Abel Ferrara, starring the unforgettable Harvey Keitel as a junkie detective hunting a nun rapist. Yes, you read that correctly. This movie is not for the faint of heart. But it’s a classic for a reason – strong performances, an intelligent screenplay and a first rate director. A great pick for any cop-movie buff, even if they have seen it already, this blu-ray edition isn’t to be missed.
8. Crime Scene Chalk Outline Body Beach Towel
Whew boy, this is another morbid one. Also, it makes me smile…what does that say about me? Everyone needs a good beach towel, especially since the season is almost upon us. Some might prefer a nice, bleached white towel, but there are others who want something with a bit more oomph. This grey towel looks just like a police chalk outline of a dead body. Imagine seeing that on the beach! It’s a sure crowd-stopper.
9. Arrest My Vest Police Grade Odor Eliminating Spray
This spray eliminates the grossest of odors… body odor, vomit, urine, smoke, filth, and BO. Special professional grade formula for the Military, Law Enforcement, Corrections, and Security services. It’s safe on all types of panels, including Kevlar. And it’s safe to spray directly on your dogs! This proprietary blend will not stain, contains no harmful chemicals, and is completely safe on your skin. It’s great to use on uniforms, too.
10. LEGO Bad Cop Mini Figure Light Up Alarm Clock
I used to have a Pikachu alarm clock that literally made my nine-year-old mornings. One day my uncle saw it and asked to have it – I loved him, so I consented, not realizing he was an adult and had no business with a Pikachu alarm clock. My uncle would love this Lego-themed cop alarm clock. Maybe I could buy it and do a trade with him? I mean, the legs and arms even move! You can play while waking up, it’s genius.
11. Bicycle Police Sound Light Horn Siren
Know someone that has always wanted to be a police officer but can’t seem to pass their driving test? This is the perfect gift! Transforms any regular boring old bicycle into an official police bike! Ok, that might be a stretch, but this horn and light combo can combine any ordinary old bicycle into a much cooler, flashier bike. It has four fun-looking buttons that change the light intensity and sound design. Neato!
12. Donut Mug
13. Funny boxers, Police, Do Not Cross Line
Funny boxers! How 90’s. I love it. This pair comes in extra-large, which means there is an extra large amount of relaxing time in someone’s lucky future. The print features a police do not cross the line – generally not what I want my partner to be thinking, but hey, to each his own. Maybe you know a certain police officer who loves playing hard-to-get. Help get the message across with this goofy pair of boxers.
14. Garden Gnome Cop Figurine
Garden gnomes are one of those weird things that has been collected and coveted for ages for no apparent reason. This particular garden-dwelling gnome is a cop, or at least dressed as one. I don’t really buy it..for one, he’s way too short to be enforcing the law. He actually looks pretty friendly, for a mythical creature. He’s made from stone-cold cast resin, which is super weather-resistant (obviously, he’s a gnome).
15. Police Assortment Hand Cuffs & Badge Chocolate Candy Mold
Chocolate candy molds make any home baker into an expert chef with ease, and they’re always a huge hit with kids and guests. Either get this mold and get tobaking for your local authorities, or skip the hard work and just buy the mold as the gift itself. Whichever way you go, you’re bound to be met with a few smiles along the way. Or make a chocolate badge for yourself and use it to get out of a sticky situation.
16. Gun Mug
Another funny mug from the same guys that brought you that delightful pink frosted one a few items back on the list. This one has a handle shaped like the barrel of a gun. I know morning times pre-coffee can be intense, but really? A gun? There’s no need for that, man, calm down and I’ll share my coffee with you…Just kidding, I’d rather die than give my java up.
17. Crime Scene Trivet
The crime scene body man seems like a popular gift for this funny police gift list. If the pen holder or beach towel didn’t quite cut it for you, this next gift may just be the ticket. It’s the same familiar dead guy, but this time instead of stabbing or laying on him, you can put super hot pans fresh out of the oven on him. And fear not, he is super heat resistant, I mean, he’s dead after all.
18. Chantilly Lane Animated Police Officer
Ahhh! I don’t know what “Chantilly Lane” is, but aww! Just look at how cute this little police officer teddy bear is!
If you press him in just the right way, he does a little singing from the movie Bad boys and dances for you. My god, that’s a precious gift for police officers, isn’t it? Batteries included! His little outfit can be hand-washed, which I imagine won’t be necessary as he is a retired officer and doesn’t get out much anymore.
We finish our list with this charming gift for police officers. We hope you find the right idea gift for your favorite cop who is on your gift list.
Not as many donut jokes in this article as you were expecting. Here’s one for good measure – A cop pulls over a driver who was speeding and asks, “Sir, why are you driving so fast?” and the guy says, “Because I’m driving to the donut shop and if I don’t beat you, they’ll be none left!.
But seriously, I want to take a moment and say thanks to all of the cops out there who risk their lives for us, we appreciate it!
